Tiredness

Ever since having children tiredness is a state of mind... it's always there... so becomes the status quo.  I don't know what it would feel like to not be tired.

Perspective:  (And know I wouldn't change a moment).  My last sleep-in past 7am was prior to our eldest being born, 2 whole years and 4 months ago.  The one night I had away from her (and there has only been 1) was when I needed to get up at 3am to catch a flight back to Australia... so much for a sleep-in.  Hubby and I have never had a night away from our babies.  We are in the situation that we don't have family close and they have been so little for a long time and reliant on me for 'milk'.

Having said that, I think I would feel slightly nervous about leaving them.  We have just discovered that the nursery carers that look after them both offer a babysitting service also.  (Just in case Hubby wants to take me out for dinner... wink wink for you Bones when you read this later!!) I feel better about having someone who looks after my children 2 days a week looking after them at night as believe it or not these 'strangers' are familiar faces to my little ones. But this makes me sad... makes me sad that the apples of my eye (and oh my gosh they are the biggest apples!!) know people better that are not any relation to them.

We've had a rough week sleep wise.  Poor little Tad has a cold, a cough, an infected toe, eczema and had injections last week.  He is always hungry this week. A shout out over social media (facebook) saw friends from all over the world offer their best sleep advice, so I am feeling well and truely loved in spite of my sleep deprivation (which I stupidly thought was in the past given that Tad has been sleeping through the night for the past 5 months!!). I also have such amazing Aunties who their jobs are working with these little people who offer black and white advice, just the right amount of empathy and always with the perfect amount of love. (Mum make sure you let those Aunties know that I appreciate them).


So today, because last night was the worst night ever and I didn't get much sleep from 3am onwards, Noosh and Tad are sleeping.  In fact Tad is having his second sleep of the day and both have been upwards of 1 hour.  I don't know what that means for tonight??

But look at these photos of my little people!!?  How can I get angry at 3am when you are faced with a smile like these?

And lets be honest... I would never have another sleep-in in my lifetime if it meant that I could keep these kind of smiles on my little peoples faces.  It is a matter of perspective.  And my perspective, albeit, tainted with tiredness, is that I adore my little ones and 'happily' attend to their needs.... even at 3am in the morning.  As an amazing friend said to me recently, love is a choice and sometimes, especially with children, that love is not so much felt but expressed through choosing to love them and attend to their needs.

So much to say... yet not so much!

It occurs to me at least half a dozen times a day... 'awesome, I can blog about this'.  And then when I get the time (yes, both children down for sleep now and I am taking advantage!!) I don't really know what to say.

So, let me leave you with a few photos of the past couple of days.  (I am still in photo organisation mode... I swear this will be great when all organised but honestly it is soooooo time consuming! - I guess it doesn't help that I am continuing to take photos at the same time!)

We visited the beach to chase the seagulls...

and dig holes!

We celebrated St Patricks Day!

We dressed for every occasion, with our bangles...

our basketball outfit...

and of course our Charlie Bear outfit!

We had cuddles and family time...

 

We found muddy puddles and jumped in them... (and Mummy thought it was fine for me to then play in the park with no pants on!)

We found something hillarious to laugh at.... I forget what it was now...

We enjoyed this type of weather... (yes that is the sky... no clouds!!)

 We painted our nails... (he he)

 We just chilled out...

And we loved it...

Sometimes pictures tell the stories that I cannot.

Needless to say its been a great few days... we've had fun... although poor wee Tad had to have a couple of immunisations (that has put him in a funk let me tell you... and who blames him!!).

Imagination

I adore that we are starting to see Noosh create a world of imagination that she will play in very happily for ages.  She gets lost in this little world, with her little people and chatters away to herself.

Sleeping 'Little People' - even the horses!!

She holds 'conversations', she does different voices, she echos the things that Hubby and I can be heard saying to her (much to our amusement), she is just adorable really.

When we play with her, we enter her world... we get directions... get told if we are 'playing' in the right way or the wrong way.

I'll often enter a room and find her 'little people' sleeping... or lined up 'just so'.  I find this gorgeous and it appeals to my sense of order and control. It makes me smile a lot.

Noosh makes me smile a lot!


(All these 'Little people' items were purchased over ebay for a fraction of their full market price.  I am certain that the previous owner cherished and loved these items just as much as Noosh does.)

(Sorry for the absence lately... I've been attempting to 'organise' all our photos from the last 6 years... lets just say its a work in progress but I can see how my life will be revolutionised by committing to the process!!)

'Round and round the garden'

Such a spontaneous show of affection... my how I love these little people.

One of those days

It's been one of those days and in order to 'deal' with the day I feel like I need to admit my shortcomings.

Hubby is away at the moment. This is not unusual as his job calls for him to spend nights away from the family.  So his alarm went off at 4am yesterday morning! (That was my first wake up call).  Then for whatever reason both children decided that 5.30am was a perfectly acceptable time to wake and start the day.

It was a pretty enjoyable day to be honest. We had a friend over for the morning (who bought morning tea - I love that!!) with her little boy who is the same age as Noosh.  Small interventions were necessary to ensure things didn't end in tears but otherwise was so nice on a pretty dreary Sydney morning.

Heres where things start to deteriorate... bed time! Normally there are 2 of us to do dinner, bath and bed but had to do it all myself. Again not so bad. Noosh is so awesome at going to bed. Once she is in her bed she doesn't get out until the next morning - or so I thought. What a blessing. Tad too is pretty good if he is tired enough. So by 7pm I am pretty drained from having to do everything.  Then I get an email from work to say that my first patient in the morning is at 8.30am. Grrrrrr. It takes me about an hour (in traffic) to get to work from the children's nursery but I have to get to their nursery first and they only open at 7.30am.  It's going to be another full on morning... but I can do it... heck... I've dropped Noosh off at nursery using buses and walking so I can do this!!

10pm last night Noosh decides that she misses Daddy and I suggest we ring him.  So we do. Hubby talks to his darling wee girl and peace reigns again.  10.30pm Noosh quickly becomes unreasonable about wanting to see Daddy so I bring her into our room and bed and tell her she can sleep in Daddy's side of the bed.  (Nb. Noosh is not a good bed sharer... she wriggles and wriggles and kicks and squirms). So no sleep was got between 10.30pm and 1am and finally I ask Noosh if she wants to go back to her bed. 'Yes Mummy' was the answer (Doh! Why did I not do that an hour ago??!!)

Finally to sleep at 1am... only to be awoken (yip you guessed it) at 5am and 5.30am by Tad then Noosh.

4 hours sleep ... sigh...

Somehow I manage to stagger through breakfast for children and myself and manage to leave the house at 7.15am in order to get to nursery 5 mins late at 7.35am. 7.45am I am again in my car and attempting to fly in the car above traffic to get to my 8.30am patient.  (Chitty chitty bang bang.. were are you my fine 4-fended friend???!!)  But I made it (woohoo) and worked to my hearts content.

Further deterioration occurs now.

I collect the children from nursery. Have to do supermarket stop on way home as need milk... Doh! Noosh cries the whole second half of the supermarket escapade... I ignore for sanity reasons. Tad is just a model child... smiles at everyone and melts my heart.

Home at 4.30pm. I inwardly groan as Hubby not home till 9pm tonight so I've got to do dinner, bath, bed all over again by myself. Noosh tired and refuses dinner, cries throughout the duration of her bath and for the duration of me bathing Tad.  I now start feeling sorry for myself... I am tired, sweaty (it is so humid here at the moment) and hungry having fed both children, bathed both children and nearly about to put them both to bed.  Needless to say I have a short fuse and I may have exhibited said frustration by speaking very 'firmly'. I'm pretty sure Noosh was thinking to herself, 'where did my mummy go? This one isn't very nice.'

However, 7.30pm came with both children in bed. I have regrouped (and fed) myself and now think 'oh dear... I was pretty unreasonable'.

It's days like the last 48 hours that I have the most respect and the most admiration for single parents. I adore my kids but on the back of tiredness (all parties) all of us become unreasonable and think just of our own selves (guilty as charged).

However, in the last 48 hours in the middle of what seemed like a mess and that I wasn't being such a good mum stemmed some amazing times:

• Cuddling and snuggling with my little girl in bed last night (a few giggles were shared too)
• Friend commending me on my 2 year old intervention when my 2 year old pushed other 2 year old (where do they learn such things)
• Doing a jigsaw puzzle and letting Noosh direct the play this afternoon. (Have a friend doing a parenting course that she is blogging about and she is all about child led play at the moment... I'm learning as a result of her!)
• Having a whole hour with Tad when Noosh slept yesterday when we just interacted and giggled and basked in one anothers company
• Knowing without a shadow of a doubt that Noosh adores her Daddy
• Loving that all the way in another state Hubby was willing to stop whatever he was doing to be the knight in shining armour to his little princess.  His words made all the difference in her little world and you could tell as she hung up the phone, sighed and laid her head on the pillow that she genuinely just missed him.

So with short fuse and everything... we managed some good times... now I'm not feeling so bad... Thanks!!

(Note: None of these photos were taken in the last 48 hours but I just wanted you to have some photos to look at!!)