It's been a crazy fortnight... actually a crazy few months. There are things that happen that make you aware of your own mortality and make you so appreciate the moments that you have in life.
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| My peas in a pod! |
To this end I'd like to share the journey that has been the past few months for the benefit of the little people that may read this in years to come. It's sometimes really nice to realise that your own parents have 'issues' of their own and everyone walks their own journey's and that sometimes you don't know what is going on in the lives of those around you.
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| Check out my flower! |
On Good Friday of this year I found a lump in my breast. In my family we don't have a history of breast cancer but in this day and age I know that you can't afford to make assumptions... good or bad.
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| Favourite toy... the container that all toys are in! |
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| Cute lil' man. |
So I checked it out... After I had an ultrasound I was advised it was 'probably' just a milk cyst and I should have a further ultrasound in 2 months. 3 weeks ago I had the second ultrasound and found that the 'cyst' was bigger. I was then referred for a biopsy... you know... with needles.... ick! I mean I'm not scared of needles or anything... but there are more pleasant things in life that I would love to be doing!
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| Tea party with dollies... Tad more interested in the ball! |
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| Who knew that rolling a ball would have us all in hysterics!! |
In between the second ultrasound and my biopsy (time frame = 2 weeks) I was actually a little anxious... until my mother made me sit down and do what all good educated people should do... not. (But in this case reassurance was gained!)... we googled!!
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| Doing some planting of herbs... will they live?? Not sure!! |
Hubby preferred not to talk about it and was not going to get preoccupied making 'arrangements' for what 'could be'. I, on the other hand was planning all the videos and letters that I would write to both Noosh and Tad for all significant events in the future that I may not be there for.... my wee princess's first dance, her first broken heart, her wedding, my wee princes' first car, first date (eek) and his first child. So many moments of calmness and relishing their presence (crying or not) followed.
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| So beautiful! |
I am still giving Tad a little feed before I go to bed at the moment, and I truly think this is my most favourite time of day. I scoop his little body (lets be honest, hes' not little... he's ginormous!!) up from his slumber and perch myself on the end of Noosh's bed. My little man stays asleep and fills his tummy and in the darkness I look at their peace-filled faces. Sometimes I wonder how I ever managed to live without them... other times I reflect on just how much they have taught me... other times I just think of how unbelievably blessed we are to have such beautiful beautiful beautiful children. They amaze me... how fantastic that I got chosen to look after these little lives... to encourage them, to be their biggest cheerleader in life, to challenge them and lets be honest... maybe yell a little (only occasionally). What an enormous responsibility! (See I have a tendency to go quite deep in these wee treasured moments!!)
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| One of those moments... she wanted to sleep in her old cot... so... she did! |
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| Isn't he handsome?! |
Anyway...
In a funny turn of events the radiologist who did my biopsy last week works with me at the hospital I work at so although we had never met we had a lot of information to share about mutual colleagues. Was a little odd that I was undressed for this conversation but in the world of medicine I know what it's like (and I have had 2 children so I know all about dignity walking out the door!!)
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| Watching the ipad in my 'special' seat |
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| Wee boy (excuse the feeder) attempting to crawl. |
I'll never forget what he said after the anaesthetic was done and he was drawing the fluid out (is this too much information)... he said the magic words...'Well we won't be sending this fluid away for testing as I am 100% certain it is a 'milk cyst' (although he did use the technical terminology for 'milk cyst'. I have worked in the medical profession for 13 years and I didn't realise that in the background of my optimism and common sense, sat a low grade anxiety. For just over 2 months, I felt like I was holding my breath, waiting for someone to stop time and give me bad news. What a blessing! God obviously knew that I have other things to do in my life... I have 2 beautiful, amazing children who bless my life everyday that I am to take care of (and He obviously knew that Hubby couldn't do it on his own - he he). So there it is... my little miracle... my unbelievable relief speaks for itself. In saying that, I think its been such a growing experience to go through, making me cherish the little things, the big things and everything in between. Don't get me wrong there are still moments (like today when Noosh missed the toilet for the second time) that I don't respond very well to, but it's just a moment and the reality is that I am here!
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| Decorating Daddy's birthday present |
