Mortality

It's been a crazy fortnight... actually a crazy few months.  There are things that happen that make you aware of your own mortality and make you so appreciate the moments that you have in life.

My peas in a pod!

To this end I'd like to share the journey that has been the past few months for the benefit of the little people that may read this in years to come.  It's sometimes really nice to realise that your own parents have 'issues' of their own and everyone walks their own journey's and that sometimes you don't know what is going on in the lives of those around you.

Check out my flower!

 On Good Friday of this year I found a lump in my breast.  In my family we don't have a history of breast cancer but in this day and age I know that you can't afford to make assumptions... good or bad.

Favourite toy... the container that all toys are in!

Cute lil' man.

So I checked it out... After I had an ultrasound I was advised it was 'probably' just a milk cyst and I should have a further ultrasound in 2 months.  3 weeks ago I had the second ultrasound and found that the 'cyst' was bigger.  I was then referred for a biopsy... you know... with needles.... ick!   I mean I'm not scared of needles or anything... but there are more pleasant things in life that I would love to be doing!

Tea party with dollies... Tad more interested in the ball!

Who knew that rolling a ball would have us all in hysterics!!

In between the second ultrasound and my biopsy (time frame = 2 weeks) I was actually a little anxious... until my mother made me sit down and do what all good educated people should do... not.  (But in this case reassurance was gained!)... we googled!!

Doing some planting of herbs... will they live?? Not sure!!

Hubby preferred not to talk about it and was not going to get preoccupied making 'arrangements' for what 'could be'.  I, on the other hand was planning all the videos and letters that I would write to both Noosh and Tad for all significant events in the future that I may not be there for.... my wee princess's first dance, her first broken heart, her wedding, my wee princes' first car, first date (eek) and his first child.  So many moments of calmness and relishing their presence (crying or not) followed.

So beautiful!

I am still giving Tad a little feed before I go to bed at the moment, and I truly think this is my most favourite time of day.  I scoop his little body (lets be honest, hes' not little... he's ginormous!!) up from his slumber and perch myself on the end of Noosh's bed.  My little man stays asleep and fills his tummy and in the darkness I look at their peace-filled faces.  Sometimes I wonder how I ever managed to live without them... other times I reflect on just how much they have taught me... other times I just think of how unbelievably blessed we are to have such beautiful beautiful beautiful children.  They amaze me... how fantastic that I got chosen to look after these little lives... to encourage them, to be their biggest cheerleader in life, to challenge them and lets be honest... maybe yell a little (only occasionally).  What an enormous responsibility! (See I have a tendency to go quite deep in these wee treasured moments!!)

One of those moments... she wanted to sleep in her old cot... so... she did!

Isn't he handsome?!

Anyway...

In a funny turn of events the radiologist who did my biopsy last week works with me at the hospital I work at so although we had never met we had a lot of information to share about mutual colleagues.  Was a little odd that I was undressed for this conversation but in the world of medicine I know what it's like (and I have had 2 children so I know all about dignity walking out the door!!)

Watching the ipad in my 'special' seat

Wee boy (excuse the feeder) attempting to crawl.

I'll never forget what he said after the anaesthetic was done and he was drawing the fluid out (is this too much information)... he said the magic words...'Well we won't be sending this fluid away for testing as I am 100% certain it is a 'milk cyst' (although he did use the technical terminology for 'milk cyst'.  I have worked in the medical profession for 13 years and I didn't realise that in the background of my optimism and common sense, sat a low grade anxiety.  For just over 2 months, I felt like I was holding my breath, waiting for someone to stop time and give me bad news.  What a blessing! God obviously knew that I have other things to do in my life... I have 2 beautiful, amazing children who bless my life everyday that I am to take care of (and He obviously knew that Hubby couldn't do it on his own - he he).  So there it is... my little miracle... my unbelievable relief speaks for itself.  In saying that, I think its been such a growing experience to go through, making me cherish the little things, the big things and everything in between.  Don't get me wrong there are still moments (like today when Noosh missed the toilet for the second time) that I don't respond very well to, but it's just a moment and the reality is that I am here!

Decorating Daddy's birthday present

Imagination

I adore that we are starting to see Noosh create a world of imagination that she will play in very happily for ages.  She gets lost in this little world, with her little people and chatters away to herself.

Sleeping 'Little People' - even the horses!!

She holds 'conversations', she does different voices, she echos the things that Hubby and I can be heard saying to her (much to our amusement), she is just adorable really.

When we play with her, we enter her world... we get directions... get told if we are 'playing' in the right way or the wrong way.

I'll often enter a room and find her 'little people' sleeping... or lined up 'just so'.  I find this gorgeous and it appeals to my sense of order and control. It makes me smile a lot.

Noosh makes me smile a lot!


(All these 'Little people' items were purchased over ebay for a fraction of their full market price.  I am certain that the previous owner cherished and loved these items just as much as Noosh does.)

(Sorry for the absence lately... I've been attempting to 'organise' all our photos from the last 6 years... lets just say its a work in progress but I can see how my life will be revolutionised by committing to the process!!)

The filling of my love-tank...

Its been such a full on, soul-resorative, memory-making week... I am oh-so-tired but its a happy tired and my love-tank is full!!

One of my most dearest friends came all the way from London-town to Sydney with her entourage of husband, 2 year old son and little 7 month old son (whom I have never met... until now). Yip... same ages as our kids and it was magic.  I love that we were able to spend time together in spite of jet-lag for everyone and subsequent sleep deprivation because of said jet lag.

This awesome friend and I did so much together in our home of London: buying houses, having our first children together, were off on maternity leave together, were next door neighbours... literally, and shared a love of chatting and tea.  Oh the time that we have spent drinking that tea (and coffee) while solving the worlds problems, and we were able to do it all over again, a year later... and it felt the so right!! (Sadly no photos of the adults together... Doh!!)

I love friendships like this... there is something that will forever remain etched in my heart because of the time we have spent together, the tears that we have shed, the mountains we have climbed, the wounds that have been healed, the journeys begun and ended, and the laughter shared.  I love that there are even more people smattered all over the world that I cherish in exactly the same way... you know who you are lovely ladies!!!

Anyway, Noosh had a friend for the week... they loved one another and there were times of too much loving and territory marking (from one or the other).  I am adamant that they remembered one another (even if only from photos). Just too too sweet!!

Look at the fun they had...

... swimming...

... sleeping... (well obviously not my Noosh)

... trying on hats...

... watching TV...

... baking...

... refining ball skills...

and holding hands.... (oohhhhhhhhhhh).

The little ones babbled to one another... they smiled and oh did they do such devine cuddles.

It was just magic... my love-tank is full... I am soooooo appreciative of good friends.... I am sooooooo appreciative of the cuteness of these wee people.  I can sigh..... (sssssssiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhh) and take a deep breath, as I am happy and content and full.

(Noosh - Petey was your first baby visitor in the birthing unit a mere 4-5 hours after you make your afternoon appearance. He has seen you through all your first year significant milestones, and you him, long may your friendship continue - albeit long distance).

Tea Party, Toilet and all round cuteness!

It really is a shame about this weather.  Summer where have you gone?

This sorry state of weather means that I have had to embrace 'creative Mum'.  Not quite sure if it's worked or not, or just caused me more stress in the process of attempting to have more 'fun'.

Noosh and I had a tea party the other day... we made cupcakes (in the new mixer that Daddy bought Mummy). We iced them pink... (of course!!). I dug through the 'throws' we have in the linen cupboard and managed to find a suitably dignified 'tablecloth'.  We had pink 'tea' (aka lemonade with pink food colouring)... have to admit I was a bit heavy handed on the food colouring... whoops!!  (Let's just say that Noosh was rather alert for a majority of the day... was it the sugar?... was it the colouring?... hmmmm maybe it was both!!)

We had fun toasting and 'cheers-ing' each other. Noosh spilt her 'tea' all over herself and the floor... fortunately I had the foresight to have laid down a waterproof sheet under the table... so I was calm and dignified as I mopped up the pink puddles. But for many moments, it was just delicious spending those precious moments with my wee one... I inwardly congratulated myself on stealing someone elses idea, and wondered why we don't do more pretending and being girls together. (She is only 2 however... maybe my expectations are too high).

But I  think we'll do this again... maybe with a different theme next time.... look out for what happens next...

Hubby and I have also been toying with the idea of toilet training... (with Noosh, in case there was any confusion!!)  We're not doing the hard core thing, just talking with Noosh about going to the toilet, getting her to tell us the difference between dry and wet, sitting her on the toilet when she wants to sit on the toilet - even though she never goes!! But this morning, Hubby sat her on the toilet and we heard that magical sound... tinkle tinkle tinkle!! So we did what every parent (we think) would have done in that situation... we did Hi-5's, cuddles, hoorays, cartwheels, kisses, whoop whoops (feel like I should say actually there were no actual cartwheels... not sure I could actually pull out one of those at the moment - but I now really want to try)... and then sought out a new 'inside' playground due to the weather and as a 'reward'. (Maybe a bit overkill but we want this to continue - even though it didn't for the rest of the day... hmmmm).

So we went to an indoor playground. You know, I've heard of Lollipops and Chipmunks etc but I really am a very naive parent who has never frequented one of these playgrounds before, so my eyes were opened.  How awesome are these playgrounds??!!! Noosh was just super excited... she loved the long slide (slides and swings are her favourite).  Daddy accompanied her around the playground and I sat with my Tad while having a cup of coffee. It was so nice.

Went to the golden arches on the way home for some nuggets and all in all a very nice morning... in spite of the weather.

 Cute photos were taken this week so of course I have to share... if only just to again, impart to you how absolutely 'yummy' these wee poppets are!!!